VISITATION

One of the cruelest, manipulative tools of broken relationships involves visitation restrictions with children. No one wins in these situations. Here are some suggestions. Consider this a ministry for the Lord to your family members.

            THE CHILDREN SUFFER THE MOST

            ***Bathe everything in Prayer***

1.      Ask a prayer partner or team to cover you during visitation time.

2.      Continually remember that you are representing JESUS. This is  ministry.

3.      YOUR PRIORITY is a  loving, nurturing relationship with the visited child.

4.      You might be the ONLY representative of Jesus in that child’s life.

5.      Your might be the ONLY representative for Jesus in the custodial parent’s life.

6.      REMEMBER-Children are sponges. They learn by osmosis.

Children remember how you made them feel more than what you said.

7.      The child does not need to  know everything you are thinking. Listen more than talk. (Their dialogue can become a silent prayer for them.)

8.      The child does not need to learn your analysis of the custodial parent.

9.      The child needs to have as relaxed and positive time as possible.

10. The child needs to know that you are trustworthy and they are loved.

11. The child needs to know that you will honor the custodial parent’s rules.

12. Plan activities with the custodial parent’s permission. Remember you are also ministering to the custodial parent’s anxieties.

13. Do not confuse the child with subtle remarks, criticisms about anyone.

14. Visitation is not a time to  do heavy preaching or press spiritual issues.

15. Time is valuable, consider your time an investment in your  child.

16.  At all costs, be a peacemaker and encourage dialogue with the child.

17.  KEEP  ALL THE CHILD’S CONFIDENCES. No parent is perfect.

18. Keep personal forgiveness accounts short.

19. Love from God’s, eternal point of view. Time is on your side.

20. IF circumstances are difficult, remember that they are temporary. Children grow up  and make their own choices re relationships. Prepare for that day.

21. God always writes the final chapter. Praise Him and Hope in Him.

PRAY WITHOUT CEASING

You are not alone

 OTHER PARENTS and GRANDPARENTS ARE WALKING IN YOUR SHOES

CUSTODY

I walked into the courtroom noticing a lonely mother across the room.

I said a little prayer for her although her day was filled with gloom.

Someone’s son is silently weeping. His wife just ran away.

How will he tell their children that Mommy won’t be home today?

I have walked the halls of justice. I’ve seen tears and anger there.

All I did in  frustration, was question no answers to heartfelt prayers.

Who are winning these battles? Satan is destroying parental care

All the lawyers are winning because their fees are  waiting there.

YES, the lawyers all are winning. They are paid their rates and fees.

But grandmothers sitting and knitting are sadly waiting with different pleas.

This child will live with her Mother and her Father must stay away.

Except on special occasions when he is allowed his child for the day.

 Grandparent’s hearts are breaking. They prayed for marriages to last.

But no one and nothing is winning. Their family lifestyle now is cast.

Divorce, disrupt, distresses will follow those children home.

Custody confusion keeps on going. No wonder little children roam.

Dear Grandparent reading this message, Hold on, hold steady and pray.

Make sure you are available until your grandchild walks your way.

Your way is truth and healing. Your way is for God’s Best.

Keep on praying for your children until they too in God find rest.

©2004- MDBergman

Dedicated to lonely grandparents everywhere. 

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Mail to:mbergman1@earthlink.net
Mail to:marlene@poeticpen.org